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I made sure she had the opportunity to do that.’’ Most parents, of course, arrive at their policies regarding teen sexuality either by repeating, or reacting against, how they themselves grew up.
Elizabeth Hansen, 32, of Somerville, has two preschoolers; she’s years away from having to deal with sexually active teens.
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Still, she remembers appreciating her own parents’ relative openness: unlike many of her peers in the relatively conservative town where she was raised, she wasn’t subject to a “no-kissing’’ policy. In essence, they told her, “we’ve always raised you kids to make your own choices in life.
We have faith that you’ll make good choices.’’ When Hansen’s daughter hits adolescence, she hopes she and her husband “can have an open conversation about that, and if she feels good about herself in other ways, you know — we’ll get through it.’’ Part of her fears for her daughter, Hansen says, come from witnessing the steep price girls can pay in terms of reputation, especially in communities where a sexual double standard stubbornly persists. “The slander of being called a slut,’’ Schalet writes, “looms much greater for American girls than it does for their Dutch counterparts.’’ One reason for the double standard is how each culture views gender roles within sexuality.
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